Klopp, Mourinho, Lampard: Fan creates thread on Premier League managers as school teachers

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Becoming a Premier League manager is the ultimate dream for many of those who decide to pursue a career in coaching.

It’s arguably the best league in the world, offering up the best in terms of quality and entertainment.

And the calibre of managers in England’s top flight is second to none.

Pep Guardiola, Jurgen Klopp, Carlo Ancelotti and Jose Mourinho are all among the best managers in the world.

They were joined this summer by Marcelo Bielsa, whose Leeds United side have impressed on their return to the summit.

Then there are the rising stars, such as Frank Lampard and Mikel Arteta.

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But where would they all be if their careers had taken them to a very different line of work?

Twitter user @s_hall_teach has imagined all 20 Premier League managers as teachers in UK schools.

Guardiola? Head of Philosophy. Klopp? Headmaster. Solskjaer? The whole place is on fire.

Take it away, @s_hall_teach…

1. Sean Dyche (Burnley)

Head of behaviour. Scariest bloke in the school. Frightens the teachers as much as the kids. Got a reputation and lives up to it. Likes a drink on the staff night out.

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2. Scott Parker (Fulham)

Nice lad, sharp suit, fresh out of Uni. Unfortunately he’s got no clue in the classroom. Unlikely to be seen after the first half term. Head of Department has already enquired about Mr Allardyce’s availability.

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3. Brendan Rodgers (Leicester City)

Climbing the greasy pole. He’s got a new innovation every school year. Doesn’t do much teaching but likes to tell everyone else how it should be done. Loves a knowledge organiser.

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4. Pep Guardiola (Manchester City)

Head of Philosophy. Refuses to teach anything but top sets. Gets all his kids into Oxbridge. Always the snappiest dresser in the staff room.

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5. Roy Hodgson (Crystal Palace)

Should probably have stopped teaching ten years ago. He taught your dad and your grandad. Wheeled out to teach year 7 each year. The school wouldn’t be the same without him.

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6. Steve Bruce (Newcastle United)

Been a PE teacher for about 20 years. Inexplicably teaches year 9 geography a few times a week. No idea what goes on in his lessons but the kids seem happy.

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7. Frank Lampard (Chelsea)

Ex-head boy back teaching in the swanky private school. Great pupil, average teacher. Thinks he’s mates with the kids. Thinks he’s probably the best teacher. No one really likes him anymore.

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8. Jose Mourinho (Tottenham Hotspur)

Uncle José. Seemed a horrible bugger from the outside. But once you’re in his class, you realise he’s a good bloke. Tough but fair. Good banter. Don’t get on the wrong side of him.

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9. Ole Gunnar Solskjaer (Manchester United)

The class is on fire. The school is on fire. Everything’s on fire. He stares at the misbehaviour. He looks like he could cry. He wishes he was back in Norway.

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10. Carlo Ancelotti (Everton)

Papa Carlo. He’s done it all. Taught across the world. Been in all the top jobs. Universally respected. He’s back doing what he loves best. Working with difficult classes and helping students achieve their full potential. If anyone can do it, Carlo can.

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11. Dean Smith (Aston Villa)

Seems like he’s in control of behaviour. But really, it’s the class that controls him. If the kids decide they don’t like him there’s nothing he can do. Keeping his best student on side is key.

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12. Marcelo Bielsa (Leeds United)

The professor. A Level maths teacher. Doesn’t really like kids but just loves maths. You walk into his class a boy and leave a man.

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13. Mikel Arteta (Arsenal)

Can he teach? Doesn’t matter. Great on a parents evening. He’s been the deputy head of department for a long time. Trying to make a name for himself now he’s got the top job.

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14. Chris Wilder (Sheffield United)

10/10 bloke. Quality banter and won’t let you overstep the mark. If you see him in the pub 10 years down the line, he’ll buy you a pint. The beating heart of the school.

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15. Nuno Espirito Santo (Wolves)

Head of foreign languages. Lovely guy, very cultured. Big on Twitter.

Always organises the annual trip to Portugal. In a very cushty job that he won’t be giving up for a while.

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16. David Moyes (West Ham United)

On a long-term sick. Kids seem happier without him there. Prone to prolonged incoherent rambles. Probably worth just sticking with the cover teacher.

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17. Graham Potter (Brighton & Hove Albion)

New Head of IT.

18 months? Hardly even noticed he existed. Seems a nice enough bloke anyway.

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18. Slaven Bilic (West Bromwich Albion)

Was at the school a few years ago. Left for a few years, went to Europe, grew a beard, came back. Doesn’t look like he’ll last the year. Bit of a temper.

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19. Jurgen Klopp (Liverpool)

Headmaster. Turned the school around. Head after head came and went. But it was Jurgen that managed it. Loved by staff, students and governors. Can get wild at the Christmas bash.

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20. Ralph Hasenhuttl (Southampton)

Mini-Klopp. Doing well at his own school by all accounts. Walked away from a lucrative career as an actor in the Walking Dead. Looking for a new job at a top school in the next few years.

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